Emotional Regulation for Performance

t is that time of the year again! That well-deserved break you have been waiting for, maybe for weeks, maybe for months, is finally within reach. You tell yourself you will switch off properly this time.  But here is what often happens instead…

Let’s be honest. If you are reading another article about time management, it’s probably not because you have never heard of a to-do list. It’s because you’re doing everything "right", the scheduling, the prioritizing, the time-blocking, and somehow you still end the day wondering where the time went.

There’s a reason your tasks expand, inflate, and spill past the point where they should’ve ended. It’s not because you’re lazy or bad at planning. It’s because your brain doesn’t experience time the way you think it does.

We all have things that set us off. Sometimes it’s feedback that feels too sharp. Or a colleague talking over us in a meeting. Or a last-minute change that throws our whole day. We don’t always react on the outside, but something flares internally. Irritation, defensiveness, discomfort, or sometimes a need to shut down completely.

Most of us assume we know when we are stressed. But the truth is, many of us are walking around with low-level, chronic stress we’ve completely normalized. It doesn’t always feel like panic. According to the American Psychological Association, more than 75% of adults report stress symptoms they didn’t initially recognize as stress — things like forgetfulness, indecision, poor sleep, or reduced motivation. In other words, stress often shows up in our bodies and brains before it shows up in our awareness.

Our brain does not reward intention. It rewards completion. Every time we take a step toward something meaningful, our brain releases dopamine. This is a chemical signal of progress. It encourages us to keep going. The feedback loop is simple. Action leads to reinforcement. Reinforcement builds momentum. Momentum builds confidence. And confidence makes future action easier.

Resilience is often described as a personal strength. A mindset. You’re either resilient or you’re not. And if you’re not, you’re expected to magically become it. Just toughen up. Push through. Cope better. But that’s not how it works.

If your thoughts were employees, which ones are ready for a bigger role and which might benefit from some additional development? If your habits were departments, are they aligned with your goals or just doing what they’ve always done? If your energy were your operating budget, are you spending it with intention or constantly overdrawn just to keep up?